What's one....I mean TWO more?!

Well, it's almost been a year since my last post. You could say I got complacent in more than one area of my life. Living in Colorado has been a dream. Full of fun, friends, spiritual growth, faith and trust. I really enjoyed focusing on our family and just being together. I come back to write because once again our life has done a complete 180. Do I need to recap on the previous twists and turns? I doubt it.

Well in July, Andrew and I were super excited to share with our family and friends that another little Gerber bean would be joining our crew.

Little did we know that in the next six months, it wouldn't be ONE that God blessed us with, but TWO! 

In August, after hearing my grandpa was on hospice, I started to look for flights home. I knew that if we could afford to make it home for the visitation I would do whatever I needed to make it happen. My mom called on August 18, in the exact moment that I had submitted payment for flights on Wednesday, that grandpa had left this earth. We decided to keep it a secret and surprise my mom and grandma. (We love surprises) ;) We made it back to IL Wednesday August 22. On Thursday, I got a message from Brekyn's biological mom that she was in the hospital having her baby girl, and later that night she sent pictures of her precious new bundle of joy, and Brekyn's biological sister. There was a heaviness that 'my' daughter would never have the privilege of KNOWING her sister. But, I was thankful for a healthy baby girl! 

The next morning, the kids and I went to get groceries for our 5 days in IL. We got home, I sat on the couch, Brekyn fell fast asleep on my lap, and my phone rang. A call I never could have imagined. It was DCFS. They had taken this precious new life into state custody, and asked if there was any way we could provide a home for her with....her sister. I was in complete and utter shock. I'm sure I didn't make any sense. "We live in Colorado" I muttered. Not really able to say much else. He stated that he knew that but they wanted to keep sisters together if at all possible. Was is possible? Yes. Convenient? No. What we expected? No. What we hoped for? No. I got off the phone with him, not really feeling like we got anywhere. I just remember leaving it at, I would love to for Brekyn and for J, but I just don't know how that would work. When we hung up, a text came through. FROM ANOTHER DCFS investigator....asking me to call. At this point, I was freaking out. I called the number, shaking from my head to my toes, utterly numb. My conversation with her went a little better, well maybe the shock started to wear off a little. We talked about our situation and she just laid it out for me. "Mom would like to fight for custody so the baby will have to remain in Illinois." After talking for a bit I finally said, "can I talk to my husband?" She kind of laughed because clearly this was life changing and said "of course, the baby is not due for discharge today, so take a few hours to talk and just let me know this afternoon." 

I texted Andrew because he was in class. "I NEED YOU TO CALL ME ASAP, J WAS TAKEN INTO DCFS CUSTODY AND THEY WANT US TO TAKE HER, BUT SHE HAS TO STAY IN ILLINOIS." He called me seconds later. We were both in shock and couldn't really logically think through it. My head said 'ya right not possible', my heart said, 'this is Brek's sister'. We came to the conclusion that we both needed to seek Godly counsel. We each had 3 people that were laid on our hearts. Surely one of the six (my bet was on Jeremy) would lay it out and tell us we were ridiculous for even considering it. But, ALL.SIX. said the same thing. "You already know what you have to do". I prayed. A LOT. This did not seem feasible to me. I wanted to go back to my life on Tuesday, but when I thought that, the Lord made it clear that I would be miserable in Colorado without J. She was already a part of our family, because she was Brek's sister.

 I went to Besgrove's before even talking again with Andrew, I was still freaking out because I knew that all 3 of the people I had talked to showed me what we needed to do. Poor Annie has to deal with all kinds of tears from me. I am pretty sure I sobbed the entire time. Out of complete fear. This decision I was about to make would separate our family. It would put the kids and I in Illinois, me being a 'single' homeschooling mom to 4 kids until I was 36 weeks pregnant when Andrew's semester would finish and he could come back. Not to mention having babies 19 weeks apart. This would completely uproot my children once again. Leaving behind our amazing community and friends in Colorado. The woods. Recess. Long days of spending hours outside doing....well...what every kid dreams of. 

I got another text from the DCFS worker asking if we had come to a decision. I called Andrew back and we both knew this is what the Lord was asking us to do. I called the DCFS worker back and told her we had decided to take J, and 20 minutes later, I met her at my grandma's where our temporary address would have to be until we could find something with a little more permanency. The first question I asked the worker at Grandma's was "how often can we visit CO?" She said it wouldn't be a problem to visit monthly. So for the time being, I clung to that. That night, I went to meet J, to feed her and to begin to bond with the amazing little girl that God so lovingly and abruptly placed into my arms. 

The last 5 weeks have not been easy. Maybe some of the hardest of my life. Satan was working double time to turn away from the hard and run to safety in Colorado, but Andrew, our family and friends were a constant encouragement. I probably said things to all of them that I didn't mean, that was the tired pregnant momma with a newborn talking. ;) Or so I tell myself. Maybe it was the fact that we ripped our kids away from their security and comfort to welcome a new baby into our home and hearts. They acted out daily. It has been a huge struggle, but I get it. I have tried and tried to show them grace and love through it and constantly reminding them that this is not going to be easy, but this is for J.  But they agree that she is totally worth it! We talked a lot about a theme for our school year and well, it's forgiveness. Forgive quickly. Forgive often. We have to.

We are getting into a routine with Baby J and we fall more in love with her each and every second. Andrew had to drive home the week after we picked her up because I literally packed 4 outfits for each of us, and we didn't have a car. He was able to stay for the week and help us adjust as much as possible. And we are currently in Colorado with him, yes we have baby J with us! Traveling here was interesting to say the least! ;) Breky fell asleep as the wheels of the plane touched the pavement so I had J in the carrier and was also carrying Brek. I am sure people got a chuckle out of it. And others probably thought I was nuts and were probably annoyed at the woman bringing 4 children on a night flight.

 We leave Tuesday, so I ask for prayers for the flight, and travels and of course the weeks to come without Andrew. We have however found a house to rent, PRAISE BE TO GOD! So we will move in next weekend, We cannot wait to get settled, and find some normalcy there! 

Well that was emotional and exhausting to write, so hopefully I can keep you updated a little more, but now....I need a nap! ;)

Oh... And.....Gerber Baby BOY will be joining our family in 14 weeks to make us a party of 7! If only you could see my face right now! ;) To those who have helped in any way: encouragement, meals, prayers, financially, baby girl clothes, crib, toddler beds, and oh so much more.....thank you for loving on us! We are so humbled. I just wish I could find the words to show our love and gratitude!

First fam of 6 photo :)

The last 6 weeks!

Oh my goodness, the last 6 weeks have been so full that I didn't set any time aside to write. 

Shortly after my last post, Andrew's parents and brother came for about a week. It's hard having people visit during school because Andrew is unable to be very present, but the kids and I really appreciated the distraction of family being here and of course Marcia helped me a ton! We did plan a couple of fun adventures while they were here, we took them to Bishops castle and went and saw the Royal Gorge and then due to Brynlee being ill, she and I had to miss the sand dunes, but it sounded like the rest of them had a great time there! 

We battled that illness off and on for 2-3 weeks. Randomly one of the kids would be throwing up and I felt pretty off for the entire 3 weeks....probably because I was catching vomit way more than I'd care to. But thankfully everyone was better in time to head to Florida for Tanner's wedding! Just Brynlee, Boston and I went. Andrew held the fort down here with Brek and all of the wives helped him by taking a day or 2 with Brek so he could stay caught up on school. Sometimes the seminary load feels impossible with a family so I am so extremely grateful for the amazing women here and there constant support and friendship! Andrew had a review test due that week....they had started their greek class 6 weeks prior to that and had gotten through 25 chapters. So when I say sometimes it feels impossible, that it what I mean. 25 chapters of a foreign language in just 6 weeks, it is intense, and that's only one class! He's really loving it though. Learning the original languages was one of the biggest pulls to going to seminary for him. I'm still confused with what all of his classes are, but I believe there are 3 others....but greek definitely fills the majority of his time. He is also still preaching for a church (Wetmore) about 30 miles away so between greek and preparing sermons, his other classes get shuffled in somewhere! 

Florida was amazing! The kids and I really enjoyed every part of it! Sand, water, warmth, family.....it was all very special and something we will never forget. The resort was incredible, and sharing a room with cousins was the best in their eyes! AND THE WEDDING!......seriously the most beautiful wedding! I mean it's kind of hard to beat toes in the sand, with the background noise of the ocean. Melissa's (my new sister in law) family is amazing too! I can't imagine Tanner finding a more perfect girl and family to marry into!

 Brynlee always has a reaction to wearing googles, but this time she even got a bug bite, so 24 hours before the wedding, this is what the flower girl looked like. 

Meme and papa got her a sleep mask that you could freeze so I made that girl wear it non stop!! And even by the time of the rehearsal it looked much better!

This is our room at the resort! Can you see that view! <3

Here are some photos from the wedding day!

It was such an amazing week, we feel so grateful to have been able to go and be a part of their special day!

We had to leave Florida the next morning to get back in time to celebrate Brekyn Lou turning 2! Saturday, our spoiled rotten little princess turned 2! 

Which catches us up to this week. This week has been tough, emotionally, spiritually.....and physically. Brekyn started off the week with a temp, but I saw 2 of her i teeth coming in so I gave her some ibuprofen and she was okay on Monday. Tuesday she woke up puking. 6 times that little peanut threw up! Mommin' 2 other kids while handling a puker is not the easiest. And the Wednesday she woke up miserable, with a barking, nasty cough. So since then, we have all been sick with the exception of Andrew, praise God for his health. But Satan was really attacking this week. Telling me I wasn't enough, I couldn't handle it, everyone desired better in my family, while also reminding me of my selfishness. Satan knew exactly how to attack me so I in turn would "attack" Andrew. I have been frustrated, overwhelmed, tired...Brekyn is either on my hip, or screaming (which she is doing now, because she is not on my hip). Being in a 650 sq ft home, when no one feels well, and we don't want to get any of our friends sick so we stay inside.....Satan knew exactly how to attack 2 days after getting home from the gorgeous, warm, fun trip we had. SO like I said, I was frustrated with Andrew and his inability to just BE home. I know it isn't his fault. I know that seminary is a lot for him to take on while trying to care for his family. He also had to preach in class on Wednesday, so between preaching at Wetmore on Sunday, having a flat tire on our only vehicle here, school and preparing to preach on Wednesday, we didn't have any of him. SO I guess my biggest prayer request is that I can recognize Satan's lies and remember truth when he is attacking. I'm so thankful for friends that speak truth to me when I'm acting all kinds of crazy and for being here for me this week in spite of being 1100 miles away! And for still loving me in spite of my actions! ;) Let's just say this momma, had a super load of apologizing and repenting to do this week. 

I've really had to focus on this verse the last couple of days

Lamentations 3:22-23

22 The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases;[a]
    his mercies never come to an end;
23 they are new every morning;
    great is your faithfulness.

HIS LOVE NEVER ENDS! 
HIS MERCIES NEVER END!
HIS MERCIES ARE NEW EVERY MORNING! 
NEW.EVERY. MORNING!

Thank you Jesus!!



I'm going to end with that, because I think we all need that reminder! 

Love to you all, thank you for sharing in our many journeys with us! 
Carlee

Cutting out chemicals

In the past few years, I have really attempted to cut down the chemicals I put on and into my body. First it started with a natural detergent and deodorant and then just continued with little things here and there. I had heard about Monat, but didn't really get the details. I had heard hundreds of amazing testimonies with significant hair growth, and being able to go 4 days in between washing, but it was never enough to try it until I found out it was naturally based, and no product contains sulfates!

so.....What is Monat?  Naturally based, anti aging haircare products.

How this business venture started.... my mother shared it with me our first week in Colorado!

 I have a TON of hair, besides wanting healthier hair, more managable hair would be great, I thought!  I tried Monat and the first couple of weeks were tough and I couldn't get what all the hype was about. My hair was in detox. From using countless chemicals and sulfates stripping my hair, it took weeks for my hair to figure out how much oil it needed to produce naturally. I've been using it now for 5 months and I absolutely love every product I have tried. I can go 4-5 days without washing my hair, which is INSANE because I had to wash it every other day (sometimes 2 days with dry shampoo) prior to using it. I was super oily at the roots, but the ends were dry. My hair felt so boxy, thick, and heavy all the time, it literally looked like a lions mane if it air dried. Well it doesn't now. It isn't oily until day 3 or 4 and that's when I used the dry shampoo to get one more day! Sorry if this is TMI on my hair, but I love the product and I want to share it with anyone that also wants healthier hair! If you are interested or have questions, please email (gerbs08@gmail.com) or text me! This has also become a means of income here and it has been a great blessing to us! There is a PHENOMENAL promo going on until Sunday, so if you are interested, it's a great time to try it! 

I've added so information so that if you are unfamiliar with the name/products, this will help give you a background!

Potential ways to order--Retail vs VIP vs MP

PROMO through SUNDAY:

- New MPs that order a product pack get $100 in free product--the oil which is seriously amazing, I've seen it work on psoriasis and all the way down to callused, cracked feet--there is actually an information sheet on this with 101 ways to use the oil!

- New VIPs that order $84 worth get $75 in free product--the masque and highly demanded curl cream!

Feel free to check out my website, and please don't hesitate to ask questions!!

http://carleegerber.mymonat.com/

Thanks for reading! :)

A month of Adventures

Be prepared for lots of pictures!

Date Day:

One absolutely huge blessing to us here is Tom and Mary. After the kids and I got back from IL, Mary and I decided we both needed some time with our husbands so we decided to swap kids so that we could get a full day with our hubbies. Andrew and I decided to go on a hike for ours. Mary came to our house at 7 to wait for the kiddos to wake up and Andrew and I headed for the trailhead. We thought, why not attempt Horn Peak? So that's what we did. We have an app called alltrails and according to that, it's 6.9 miles out and back, well....what we didn't realize is that is only one part of the trail and then at the treeline the trail ends and you basically have to bear crawl up the side of the mountain and by that point the air is so thin that you can literally only take 5-10 steps before taking a break. So anyways, we had realized that about half way up and figured we are already in so just keep going. Remember, we are still flat landers.....mountains, trails, hiking....it's still so foreign to us.We decided our goal would be the treeline and if we felt okay, we'd keep going. We made it to the treeline in about 2 hours and we felt really good and the peak looked so close, so we said, "let's do it". We pushed on and officially started the battle with the mountain, without a trail, this part that was really a short distance took about an hour and 15 minutes. Then on one of the thousands of break "scaling" the mountain, Andrew mentioned false peak. I had no idea what he was talking about so he went on to tell me that he thought the peak we were tackling was false peak, because the actual HORN peak was behind the one we could see. UGH....WHAT? Are you kidding me? That doesn't make any sense. The peak I was staring at HAD to be Horn Peak. It was triangular, looked just like it. Well....I'm sure you know where this is going. It wasn't Horn Peak at all! I was defeated in that moment and was not prepared to keep going. Okay.....it wasn't that bad, I mean, it's was a peak. just not the one we wanted it to be. It should have a name. False peak makes it sounds like we failed and it maybe felt like it for a moment, but we didn't! Talking to our friends since our attempt, we've realized that we completed the hardest part so hopefully we will get a chance again before the snow falls to attempt it one more time! And because I can't help myself, check out these amazing pictures of our day!

Hearing the streams is my favorite part of a hike

This man though!! <3

View at the treeline

Us at the treeline, with the "false" peak in the back

On the false summitt

And that's HORN Peak

I could not ask for a better man to do this life with!

............................................................................................And coming down was seriously terrifying. 

Adventures with the Besgroves:

Last week our favorites from IL came to visit! I cannot even tell you what this meant! They've had a full summer and they still squeezed in a trip to see us and where we live! It was such a blessing to have them here and do life with them again, BUT it also made the missing them so extremely fresh and hard! Besgroves have not only been mentors to us as parents and as husband and wife, but they have become like second parents to our kids. Boston spent SO MUCH time with them while Brynlee was in treatment. Annie become the sister I never had. If Brynlee had to go to the hospital, they were the first ones we'd call so that Boston would have a place to go. I couldn't ask for a better person to be "mom" while I was with Brynlee! Our time with them was so so special! I wish it didn't have to end! They are one of the few people that will come out and we can say, let's go on a 5 mile hike and them actually be excited about it! HAHA! 

The first night they were here we showed them around and gave them information overload and then invited the seminary students that were here to come join us for a bon fire. 

The next day we went on that 5 mile hike to Venable Falls.

 There that pesky "false peak" and Horn peak from our trail

The guys are so masculine, they wouldn't "pose" for a picture so this is the best I could do! ;)

...................................................................................................................................................................

Gerber Academy of Littles Field Trip Day:

Homeschooling is a blessing for so many reasons, being able to adjust our academic schedule to line up with Andrew's is one of them! Since Andrew has been off this week, we wanted to do something fun with the kids so we took a field trip to Bishops Castle and the kids conquered their first mountain peak! 

Bishops Castle was incredible! SO beautiful. To think a man has been building it all by hand for 49 years is insane...35 years were spent on the castle, and now he's been working on the wall around the castle for 14 years including the bridge, moat and cave. 

Then we headed for North Peak, which is amazing because you drive basically to the tree line and it's less than a mile to the peak! Really neat for the kids!!

lunch :)

The kids working on their selfie game.....still needs work! ;)

 The snack cup was saved!

Living here has REALLY opened up my eyes to God's creation.

 I just can't get over how magnificent it is!

 THEY DID IT! First Peak! 

      

 Breky wasn't as enthused about her first peak! 

Don't mind the outftits, thankfully we had a few coats left in the car

 because it was FREEZING up there!

This place is so beautiful and to think that all of these adventures were free. Moving is hard, but these memories will last a lifetime. I couldn't feel more thankful or blessed, that God would call us here. Allowing us to see his creation and soak it up as a family! 

Thank you for the many prayers and words of encouragement thus far! It means so much to us! We look forward to seeing everyone in December!

HUGS,

  Carlee